(Again, like the last post from so long ago, sorry for not keeping up with this blog. I have been writing more and more this winter, but it's been a lot of work requiring editing and aimed for publication elsewhere. Still, I hope to get to this blog more regularly. I really enjoy just letting a post fly here and there. So, please, keep an eye on this page.)
Well, obviously (if you are linking to this from Facebook) "quit" is a bit of an exaggeration. But I have been going to the site a lot less and really slowed down how much interaction I have there. It's been good and bad. More than that though, I've found it interesting to see how the mode of interacting with people on social media feels as I've limited it.
The whole thing reminds me of when I gave up having a smartphone from around 2013 through 2018. I still kept my old iPhone handy to use when I had wifi, but usually the process of logging into free wifi was enough to keep me from needlessly surfing. I remember what it was like to see the people around me in this new light. When you're not staring down at your phone all the time it feels like everyone else is. And most people are, but surely, like a smoker trying to quit, I would see the people indulging more than those not.
Anyway, it's been almost a year since I've been trying to slow down my use of social media--Facebook really being the only form I really used. In that time I went from checking the site several times a day and having several ongoing conversations in comments (probably what I miss most, actually), and posting regularly to now looking at my feed and notifications once or twice a week.
One thing I know I'm missing out on is the immediacy sites like Facebook create. I feel like when I do look at Facebook I'm walking into a conversation at a party that I can't find a way into. And there still is that urge to hop in (and I do occasionally), but I know it will mean more time clicking away, so I usually smile and nod and make like I'm heading for the kitchen.
But it is really great to feel that you can catch a glimpse of the people you know throughout the day that adds something when you do see them. Or maybe it's that the platform, when not used, takes something away. When I do see friends now, I feel like many of us have gotten into the habit of not talking about things we've already shared on social media. I mean, why tell you about my ski trip or this cool restaurant I found if I already got a hundred likes for it; you must have seen it, right?
On the plus side though, I've stopped thinking in posts. I think a lot of what I used to share with people especially when it came to matters of opinion was usually--to use the term of the day--tribal. I don't mean this so much in the opinion itself, but in the wording of what I would share. As much as I think I was writing things to share my thoughts directly (and I hope I did more often than not) I realize now that often the promise of potential likes from my camp must have shaped the voice I gave to those ideas. Because, come on, who doesn't like likes.
Speaking of likes, that's something else I've thought a lot about recently. When I try to just slip through Facebook quickly and then wind up liking some post, I feel that I should start liking every post. It's like I gave one friend a cookie and then I realized I have hundreds of other friends and an endless supply of cookies, and everyone saw me give that one friend a cookie. (Funny that a cookie was the first image that came to mind, since all these likes definitely help shape an understanding of who we are for the advertisers and whomever else buys our data.) So now I'm trying to not "like" anything either. Sorry, I'm keeping these cookies.
As for the world outside of Facebook, I find I'm much more in the moment. Just as I don't think in posts anymore, I also don't take photos to post. Of course I still take a ton of photos (I have a soon-to-be-one-year-old at home) but I'm not trying to create something to share with the public, nor do I stop after taking a photo to think of a witty line or two to go with it and then go looking for who has seen it and commented on it. This is not to say that doing so is intrinsically bad (I used to really enjoy it and very well could again) but I find the time I would put into just accumulated to a point that I was living more on social media than I would like compared to living off it.
Well, speaking of living off screen, I'm going to wrap this up here. Hope this doesn't come off like a holy-than-thou or fuck-Facebook rant. I do miss some aspects of hanging around on Facebook, much the same way I miss some aspects of playing video games, and I see nothing wrong with doing something you enjoy if you don't find it gets in the way of what you want your life to be. (As, in the end, Facebook and gaming became fun ways of not doing what I most wanted to do.) I just thought some people out there might find these observations interesting. Feel free to email or message anytime. Or, next time you see me in the world, let's talk!
